Survivor guilt is the guilt that is carried by individuals who survive the death of loved ones or other members of a cultural, national, religious or other group that they belong to.
It is felt along with feelings of unworthiness, a sense of being undeserving, an unconscious need to join their loved ones in death, an inability to fully engage in life and all the good things it has to offer them, feelings of depression or sadness, lack of motivation, a sense of inertia, and a feeling that they are somehow bad for being alive.
The guilt is harbored both consciously and unconsciously. In the latter it essentially burrows into the physical body and affects the cellular and physiological integrity of that body.
The general message that goes with the guilt is “You are not supposed to be alive”.
That message, which is a message of death, and not life, then essentially directs the physical body to die.
Clearly this is not a good place to be as it only engenders vulnerability to illness, pain, suffering and eventually death.
The reason that such negative information is present at all is because there is an underlying “illogical logic” that supports its presence in the mind and body of that person which goes something like this.
I should carry this guilt because it will help me to assume my share of the suffering which I somehow managed to escape, so that,
In this way I can show my love and compassion for those who are no longer alive, so that,
I can feel relieved that I am alive and was spared, so that,
I can feel a sense of inner peace, calm, better about myself and the fact that I am alive.
So in summary one could say that:
(A) The survivor guilt causes one to feel a sense of inner peace, calm, better about themselves and the fact that they are alive.
Well clearly statement (A) above is not true is it given what was said about the actual impact of the guilt on an individual above?
If you recognize this then simply admit to yourself that (A) is false and then ask that it be purged from your mind and body once and for all.
Then, if you wish, notice how toxic the guilt itself is and ask yourself whether you want such toxicity inside if you. If not then again ask that it be purged once and for all from within.
Now I ask you to consider how you would rather feel from now on about your situation. Once you have reflected on that you may wish to affirm that new experience for yourself.
I suspect that through this simple process of awareness something has shifted inside for you.
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Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called “Spirituality And Science” (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of “Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation” (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.
Web Site: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/IntroConsult.htm
I worked for many years in an office environment and would have enjoyed the experience if it was not for a number of over bearing and annoying colleagues. These people seemed to spend the whole day bitching and gossiping about other people which can make life at work very stressful and uncomfortable.
After leaving school I was excited that I was now entering into the adult world. I was more than happy to leave behind me the childish ways of school life where people are constantly taking the mickey out of each other, which is apparently supposed to be fun and basically act like fools. This was certainly not what I saw as enjoyment.
I eventually obtained a position working for an insurance company where I would have to carry out basic office duties. I was slightly apprehensive as it was all new to me of course but what I found when I started to work their came as quite a shock. Some of these so called adults were also acting like they were still at school.
The males in the office were always at each others throats, throwing insults which I have to add were mainly in jest, and basically acting like they were fourteen years of age.
The women though were so annoying it was untrue. Of course it was not all of the women but just a handful of them. This however was enough to make it an uncomfortable place to work. These women were always ready to spread gossip about other people and were so two faced it was unbelievable.
As an example, I will tell you a story which I am now able to laugh about, but which at the time was quite hard to handle. I went out for a few drinks one night and in the bar, there was a woman who worked in the same office that I did. She was what I called, one of the bitches!
I went over and started talking to her. I had had a number of drinks and felt quite sociable. She had a friend with her who I have to say was very attractive and I also started to make small talk with her. I started to get on really well with this friend and thought that I had pulled etc.
After buying them both a drink I went to the toilet. Whilst I was in the toilets my friends warned this friend of my colleague not to get too close to me because I was gay (which I am not). They were just trying to ruin it for me, nice hey!
I came back to the group and both of these women had left to go somewhere else. I was most frustrated but was unaware of what had been said.
I went back to work the next day and people acted differently towards me. I later found out from a good friend that this colleague had told everyone that I was gay.
I have no problem with people who are gay and this incident showed me what it must be like for them at times.
I went up and told this woman exactly what I thought of her and warned her never to spread any rumours about me again, as it would be the last rumour she would ever spread, if she did etc.
The next few days were quite unpleasant as people were treating me like some kind of leper. I did not try to convince them that I was straight as it should not be an issue in the first place.
After this I went to work with the sole intention of doing my job, I do not need these type of people in my life.
If you work with people like I have described above, I feel sorry for you. Try hard to not let them ruin your day at work as if they do, then they will have won.
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If you’re not getting what you want right now, it’s because you’re using the principles of creativity backwards. You’re busy miscreating!
Here’s how to turn a dicey situation around: assume the feeling of having what you want.
When you think it and feel it, it comes to be.
First have a dream, a gloriously fulfilling dream.
Then ask yourself what it would be like to really be the man or woman you want to be and what would it be like to really have what you want.
What would it feel like?
Be detailed. Be joyful. And do it right now.
Your beliefs control your destiny. They are the software codes of your subconscious mind.
Instead of adopting the beliefs of your family and your personal history, your culture and your friends, create new beliefs, empowering beliefs that fill you with exhilaration.
Now activate these new beliefs with feelings.
Feel them into life.
Do this simple exercise and everything in your life will be different, drastically, wonderfully different.
How quickly things change for the better depends on how long you can stay in a good mood. The happier you can become and the longer you can stay joyful, the faster your good fortune will come to you.
Revising your beliefs about yourself, your role in the world, and how the world works means revising your world. Redesign the inner experience–and you will change the outer one.
How this happens is complex. You set into motion the universal laws of mind, the laws of physics known as quantum mechanics, and the psychological laws of self-esteem and self-acceptance.
But you don’t need to know how it works, or even why it works…you have to simply do it.
Imagine living the life that you really want to live.
Really get into the feeling of it.
And as you persist, the dream will melt into reality. Your idea will become a thing. And your fantasy will become a fact.
Do this exercise and everything will fall into place for you.
The uniform response when quizzing people on what exactly it is that givers Peter Sutherland the winning edge is that his unique mix of great charm and directness has served him well over the years. Peter Sutherland was a key figure in negotiating the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade, and it has been well documented that in order to get the accord passed, he sometimes kept negotiators at the table late into the night. The deal came together after almost a decade of negotiations, and the very gavel he used throughout now sits on his desk at his office in London where he serves as chairman of the arm of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. that oversees Europe, the Middle East and Africa.
In 1995 he rejoined Goldman Sachs, where he had previously worked as an adviser. The story goes that he was recruited by Eugene Fife on an international flight. Not only current but also former Goldman Sachs employees say Mr. Sutherland gave the bank a lift when it was trying to break into Europe.
Peter was widely recognized as being key for winning business away from London’s big merchant banks as well as European financial firms. He brought with him a set of invaluable contacts. Not only that but he is also known to be close to Italian Prime Minister Prodi. More recently he has been known to accompany former Goldman CEO Henry Paulson on trips to Russia and China before Paulson became treasury secretary last year. Not only this, he also played an important role in forging a relationship between Goldman and Mittal Steel Co. That paid dividends when Mittal hired Goldman as lead banker in its $39 billion takeover of Arcelor SA last year. By all accounts Peter Sutherland has been instrumental in some keys bits of business which have had a massive impact on the development of Goldman.
Your muscles should feel sore on some of the days after you exercise. If you go out and jog the same two miles at the same pace, day after day, you will never become faster, stronger or have greater endurance. If you stop lifting weights when your muscles just start to burn, you won’t feel sore on the next day and you will not become stronger. All improvement in any muscle function comes from stressing and recovering. On one day, you go out and exercise hard enough to make your muscles burn during exercise. The burning is a sign that you are damaging your muscles. On the next day, your muscles feel sore because they are damaged and need time to recover. Scientists call this DOMS, delayed onset muscle soreness.
It takes at least eight hours to feel this type of soreness. You finish a workout and feel great; then you get up the next morning and your exercised muscles feel sore. We used to think that next-day muscle soreness was caused by a buildup of lactic acid in muscles, but now we know that lactic acid has nothing to do with it. Next-day muscle soreness is caused by damage to the muscle fibers themselves. Muscle biopsies taken on the day after hard exercise show bleeding and disruption of the z-band filaments that hold muscle fibers together as they slide over each other during a contraction.
Nobody really knows how these hard bouts make muscles stronger, but the most likely theory depends on the fact that hard exercise damages muscle fibers. Then other cells release chemicals called cytokines that cause inflammation characterized by soreness (pain), increased blood flow to the injured fibers (redness), and increased flow of fluid into the damaged area (swelling). The damaged muscle cells release tissue growth factors to heal the damaged muscle fibers, and if the athlete allows the muscle soreness to disappear before exercising intensely again, muscle fibers become larger and increase in number by splitting to form new fibers. If the athlete does not wait until the soreness goes away before exercising intensely again, the fibers can be torn, the athlete becomes injured, and the muscles weaken.
Next-day muscle soreness should be used as a guide to training, whatever your sport. On one day, go out and exercise right up to the burn, back off when your muscles really start to burn, then pick up the pace again and exercise to the burn. Do this exercise-to-the-burn and recover until your muscles start to feel stiff, and then stop the workout. Depending on how sore your muscles feel, take the next day off or go at a very slow pace. Do not attempt another intense workout until the soreness has gone away completely. Most competitive athletes exercise at low intensity during recovery, rather than taking days off; this makes their muscles more fibrous and resistant to injury. If you’re not interested in competing, you can take one or more days off until your muscles feel fresh again.
If your muscles are sore all the time and do not recover, please read my report on Chronic Muscle Pain
Dr. Gabe Mirkin has been a radio talk show host for 25 years and practicing physician for more than 40 years; he is board certified in four specialties. For more information and hundreds of fitness and health reports, visit http://www.DrMirkin.com
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Beware of a New Scam Aimed at Bargain-Hunters
Trying to buy something cheap is absolutely natural–and online crooks set traps for unwitting bargain-hunters. On April 6 Panda Software warned Internet users of a new particularly brazen scam aimed at stealing confidential information. Several websites offering cheap airline tickets in fact weren’t selling anything; the aim was to cheat users out of credit card details.
Of course, these sites have already been identified and disabled, but who knows whether (or better to say when) other ones will appear again, this time offering all kinds of products.
The scam is very simple; the thieves simply wait until some unsuspecting user who is searching for airline ticket offers, finds their site offering dirt-cheap airline tickets. Really pleased with himself and looking forward to the trip, the user fills in the form, entering his credit card number, expiry date and verification value (CVV).
As soon as these details have been entered, an error page appears; it tells the user that the transaction has been unsuccessful, and offers instructions on how to pay for the ticket by postal money order. So the user may well be fooled twice. He loses his credit card details, putting them right into the hands of cyber-crooks, and then loses money, if decides to buy the ticket by money order.
Luis Corrons, the director of PandaLabs, comments on this scam: “This kind of online fraud differs from those witnessed previously. The malicious user does not contact the person interested in buying the product, but it is actually the buyer, in searching for the best prices online, who goes to the fraudulent web page. This creates a false sense of security that can lead users to proceed with the transaction”.
This makes such a scam very dangerous. It is the user who finds the “bargain”; no spam or pop-up ad is involved– actually, nobody either forces or tries to persuade the user to buy something. This tactic is bound to be “effective”, if such a word is appropriate here. That is why it is extremely likely that there will be other websites and other scams using the same pattern.
Too Cheap to be a Bargain? You’d Better Steer Clear
How to avoid this kind of fraud? “Users are best advised to treat ‘bargains’ with suspicion, and only make online purchases from trusted sites. In any event, if in doubt, it is a good idea to search for information about the website in question on the Internet. Users should be able to find opinions and experiences of other users who have used the same service,” says Luis Corrons.
That’s all users can do so far — to steer clear of suspicious bargains and to check the firm one is going to buy from. Of course, the authorities are informed; these cybercriminals will be tracked, caught and sent to jail.
But this entire story gives a strong impression that cybercrooks are becoming more and more shameless. People get cheated when they expect it the least — just remember bogus appeals to make donations for tsunami victims.
Such criminals are impudently taking advantage over majority of people — over those who remember the Golden rule and expect others to behave the same way. That is why everybody who either falls the victim of this –or any other–scam, or learns about such incidents, should make this information public. This will be a small contribution that may help to curb growing cybercrime.
Alexandra Gamanenko currently works at Raytown Corporation, LLC — an independent software developing company that provides various solutions for information security.
Learn more — visit the company’s website
http://www.anti-keyloggers.com
Although it’s very old, another good website marketing strategy is building reciprocal links for your site. Let’s say that you’ve managed to build a site where you have great content, great tools or both. All you need now is people to find out about it.
Increasing your link popularity with reciprocal links will help your site to go up in the search engines. Although this kind of links are not so powerful anymore they can still give you some results. Besides the search engine rankings you will also receive direct traffic from the site you are linked with.
The link exchange process is not a hard one but it has it’s secrets and tricks. There are many factors and things to avoid that have to be taken in consideration. You have to know how to convince a webmaster to trade links with you, what sites to avoid and what sites to link with.
The first thing that you need to know is what is a reciprocal link. A reciprocal link is some kind of agreement between two webmasters. Both of them place on their site a link that points to the other one’s website. This is some kind of win-win situation because both websites benefit form this linking, receiving direct traffic and increasing link popularity.
This website marketing strategy also involves a little trust. You can make links exchange with many sites but you don’t have the time to frequently monitor them. So you’ll just have to trust that the other webmaster will keep your link on his site. This situation could become really frustrating when you see that you still keep a link for a website but you’re not receiving one back.
Don’t think about this website marketing strategy as a quick scheme to get tons of traffic. I can ensure you that is not like that. There are many sites that have thousands of banners on them, but only half of them really work. Try to link your site with related and confident websites. This way you will also avoid linking to any bad neighborhoods.
In conclusion, even if the reciprocal links are an old website marketing strategy comparing to the new and powerful one way links they still can bring you some results. Just try to make your links exchanges as safe as possible.
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Gemstones are one of this world’s great miracles. They come in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes. Although I love them all, emeralds, especially, are very dear to me.
Besides displaying my favorite color, these wonderful green stones also represent, in my opinion, what being human is all about. I’ll explain . . . .
Emeralds are one of the few gemstones where flaws and imperfections are tolerable and considered part of their natural beauty. A natural emerald is created over the course of many years under intense geothermal pressure, and the inclusions are a shorthand diary of that stone’s birth pains and growth history.
Because of these imperfections they are especially unique. You can easily tell a natural emerald from a synthetic one because the genuine stone has these flaws. Emeralds are one of the most difficult gems to cut and although they boast a hardness of 7.5, they tend to be brittle, and if handled improperly, will chip or break. A perfect, flawless emerald is almost impossible to find.
A few years ago, many positive but frightening changes took over my life, demanding a great deal of courage from me. As a reminder of my bravery I’ve decided to reward myself with a gorgeous emerald ring, a natural one of course.
Now, every time I wear my beautiful ring, it reminds me of many of my own qualities. Because, like a natural emerald, I only became the person I am now after experiencing intense pressure, allowing me to grow. Just like my genuine emerald, I am unique, colorful, bright, valuable (just because I exist) intense, stunningly set, and gently flawed.
We all share these great qualities and also carry those little flaws that contribute to making us so unique. And although we differ in size, shape and color, we are all constantly seeking to fit into our best setting.
The emerald is the zodiacal gem for those born under the sign of Taurus, and is the May birthstone. Naturally, everyone looks good in emerald jewelry, so there’s no need to feel left out if you were, like me, born in some other month.
If you feel passionately about this gem like I do, and still don’t own an uniquely crafted natural emerald, please do yourself a favor and begin your hunt for this treasure now.
And like I did, you just might find that especial gem you’ll simply fall in love with.
About the Author
Author G.L. Bycz is the founder and developer of http://www.finejewelrydesigns.com - a website specialized in unique fine jewelry, articles and information on diamonds and gemstones.
I have decided to change my mobile broadband Internet supplier. I have seen a couple of adverts around and I have realized that I am actually paying far more for my service than I really should. Let’s face it, in this economy it is vital that we cut bills where we can and it turns out my mobile bill is definitely somewhere that has some room for cutting.
But now it seems I have a million and one options. I am looking for a very cheap, if not the cheapest broadband connection I can, that still provides quality customer service. But I look online and most of the offers and comparison sites are rather confusing, I found all the info I needed on Broadbandgenie.co.uk but by that point, I felt I needed outside help.
So I need you guys to help me find a
I don’t mind who you recommend, so long as when I read about it I understand what they are talking about, not just a bunch of numbers and letters that make no sense.
I have been tempted by the idea of taking my laptop around the country and constantly having access to broadband. Has anyone used this?
Comments Off - Posted in Emptor Infos, Telecommunication Portal, Universe Of Technology
I imagine when we die we find out how in-tune with our hearts we should have been. Not an easy thing to do with all our mere mortal vices getting in the way.
How do we rise above what we are? Can we elevate ourselves and look back down on our lives to see what needs more attention, or less? What’s important, what’s a waste of time?
I’ve managed to step onto my own shoulders for a better look, through my music. As a songwriter I frequently, and most certainly unintentionally, write about feelings and experiences from my own life. Sometimes I don’t recognize a connection until I’m performing the song or listening to it later on.
Where all these ideas comes from I can’t be sure. I always thought that I had to go through many long years of suffering before I could be worth anything as writer, but I found that my song lyrics, and my other scribblings, affect people.
Real writers, those with a genuine knack, are born to be what they are. Maybe sometimes people get more than their fair share of talents. A cruel joke by God? Maybe a test. Which talent will be used the most to affect the rest of the world?
I didn’t wake up one day and say I want to write songs, or even these observations. If I did I would likely be a lousy songwriter, or writer in general. Instead I have found that, when inspired, I have a knack for this writing thing. People who have heard my music believe it’s among the best they’ve heard, and they always comment on the poignancy of my lyrics. One fellow who bought my CD remarked, “…lyrically, it’s a killer!”
I appreciate these remarks. They make me examine myself more closely, to evaluate my work more carefully, because if people are this taken with my lyrics I must be extra careful what I write the next time around. My words can have great influence, so I want to make sure it’s a positive one.
As I look back on my accomplishments, which I still don’t think are much (call me humble), I start seeing myself in a different light. Not the kid who was made fun of in school, or the punk who couldn’t get his head out of you-know-where quick enough to save himself some real heartache. But I see myself as a growing, learning, human stumbling through a mistake-ridden life that’s finally smoothing out in the long run, and there’s plenty more to run, so just imagine how much smoother it can get!
Looking down, even in at yourself, however you manage to do it, can help you elevate your position within your own mind. Since we are the masters of our own destiny, isn’t that the right place to start? See yourself as the person you want to be.
By examining ourselves we can also learn how much heart we put into living our lives. The more heart that goes in, the less mundane your life will be. But you can’t keep your heart to yourself. No light shines in a room without windows, no voice can travel beyond the walls. Affect the world around you and see how the light shines in.
How do we rise above what we are? We rise to what we want to be.
About the Author: Drew Vics is an artist, writer and musician living in New Jersey. Aside from writing, which for now is a hobby, Drew enjoys playing guitar, writing and recording music, painting, and brewing his own beer.
Source: www.isnare.com
